There is something I want to say, and although I rarely blog, this is a topic I would like to blog about. But first, let me rewind.
I’ve been a lot of sizes over the past 8 years or so. The photo above is probably not me at my heaviest, but it’s close. Here are some at my smallest, and there are more because I can look back and go “Damn, girl”:
So all in all, after weighing over 200 lbs in 2007 (ish), I’ve lost and kept off about 50-60 lbs. That number has gone as high as 70 total pounds lost, but has settled on about 50 at this point in time. Although it’s been almost 7 years since I began my weight loss journey, I still worry about getting back up there, and when I recently gained 20 lbs after my wedding, I got a little freaked out. You’ve heard the statistics that so many people gain back the weight they have lost. It’s sort of similar to being in remission from a life-threatening illness, the longer you go without gaining back the weight, the more likely you are to keep it off, but it’s always a struggle. I hate to compare my weight loss to a life-threatening illness — being overweight, despite the horror stories, isn’t a death sentence. Everybody has a different body type — I just knew I had let my body type get a little to heavy when I decided to lose the weight.
So, here I am 7 years later. So much has changed. I went to graduate school, and got a job that has nothing to do with what I went to graduate school for. I met the love of my life, and a bunch of really great long-lasting friends. I got engaged, married, bought a house and adopted a dog. Life was good, so we went out for wings, and beers. We stayed at home and got pizza. Then I stepped on the scale and noticed that I had re-gained 20 (ish) pounds. My immediate reaction was to freak out, and express my discomfort with my husband, who of course said I looked great but he supported whatever I wanted to do.
So, I started working out again and trying to eat right. I’ve been doing that for about 2 months now and I’ve lost about….6 ounces. That is not a joke, I literally have lost 6 ounces in two months. But, then something amazing happened. I looked in the mirror and decided I liked what I saw. I can’t squeeze into my size 6’s, and my size 8’s look a little silly on me. But I decided that I didn’t care.
I’m still working out (although not nearly at the intensity I once did — I now consider going for a long walk a workout, and the old me would have, well, not), and I’m tracking my food through My Fitness Pal, but I don’t stress if I go over my calorie count. I can’t say I would be comfortable gaining any more weight, but I can say I don’t really care if I lose anymore. It’s all about comfort, and I feel like I’ve gotten there.